Choosing Fate: A Love in Eden Novella Read online

  You know what you were thinking.

  "Shut up," I muttered under my breath. My inner voice really could be a bitch sometimes.

  "Did you say something?" Zander asked.

  God, kill me now.

  This time I said the words silently to myself and just shook my head in response to the man standing over me. I expected him to put my gun in his pocket or his waistband or somewhere else on his person, so I was caught off guard when he tucked it into my purse. Then he was reaching his hand out again and I realized it was because he wanted to help me up. Holy hell, had that been the reason he’d put his hand out in the first place?

  I knew I probably shouldn't give him any more reason to treat me like a damsel in distress, but I didn't want to blatantly ignore his gesture. Despite his rough exterior, he was behaving like a gentleman and I was acting like a foolish child. I put my hand in his and began climbing to my feet. But instead of just bracing me, Zander practically pulled me upright on his own. The momentum caused me to step into him until our chests were almost touching. His hand was strong and warm and rough around my fingers, but there was a gentleness there too. Electricity fired up and down my arm. If I hadn't been so busy staring at the little bit of chest hair that was peeking out from beneath the V in his T-shirt, I would've looked down at our hands to actually check if there were sparks flying.

  My heart began pounding in my chest as my body reacted to being so close to his. With Jackson, I’d felt some of the same sensations, but they'd always been pretty tame. I didn't know what to make of the fact that I could barely breathe and that I both wanted Zander to release me and keep holding on to me at the same time.

  When the man across from me didn't let me go right away, my brain ordered my limbs to move. The traitorous little bastards didn't, though. My feet stayed planted exactly where they were and my fingers actually tightened around Zander's hand. The only thing that did move were my eyes. I managed to drop them instead of looking up at him, but the plan to avoid letting him see my confusion backfired when I took in the sight of his crotch. Although I didn't see any proof that he was struggling with any of the same things as me, my mind didn't need evidence to start coming up with a whole host of images in my head of what could happen next… of what I secretly wanted to happen next.

  I knew you weren't such a good girl, Jolene.

  The sound of Ted's sneering voice in my mind snapped me back to reality. Along with his smug observation came the memory of his hand trying to push between my legs.

  "Hey," I heard a voice say softly and then there was the sensation of something brushing over my cheek. I hadn't even realized I’d dropped my eyes until Zander softly said, "You're safe, Joli."

  "Jolene," I automatically corrected as I lifted my eyes. I forced the thoughts of Ted and the disastrous date out of my head. There'd be plenty of time when I was safely tucked away in my bedroom to let out the disappointment and shame I was feeling. My gaze met Zander's. I realized we were once again standing closer than we should have been. It was his thumb that was caressing my cheek.

  "Sorry, Joli," he murmured in response. I felt trapped as his eyes shifted briefly to my mouth. I knew what that look meant and even though I told myself not to react, my lips involuntarily parted just a little so I could take in some much-needed oxygen. Zander's whole expression drew up tight and his thumb stilled on my cheek briefly before he slid his entire hand down to cup my jaw.

  Despite my best efforts not to, I ended up moving my eyes to his mouth. Besides a couple of harmless kisses with Ted early on when we’d started dating, as well as tonight’s drunken one, I'd only ever kissed Jackson.

  While my husband had had a five-o'clock shadow later in our marriage, he hadn't ever had a full beard like Zander did. So, as inappropriate as it was, I couldn't help but wonder what Zander's facial hair would feel like. He also had really nice lips. I had no idea why I was noticing any of those things, especially with someone who was my opposite in pretty much every conceivable way, but I was too caught up in whatever sensual spell he’d cast on me to even care. Whereas I’d always put Ted's advances off, I knew that if Zander dropped his head just a little, my mind and body were not going to agree on what happened next. And so far, my body had won out on every argument.

  My insides began doing a victory lap when Zander stepped into me just a little, but just seconds after licking his lips and dropping his head, he suddenly stepped back and released me completely. Then he was handing me my purse. My hands shook as I accepted it.

  "I work on classic cars."

  I stared at him as if he were speaking another language. When his words registered, I somehow managed to get out, "Okay." Not my best comeback ever, but I was still reeling from the missed opportunity and trying to decide if I was happy or sad about it.

  "Pete has some customers who’ve been wanting work done on their classic cars, but none of the guys who work for him could handle the requests. I needed some parts for my girl there,"—he pointed behind me at a black muscle car sitting in one of the bays in the garage portion of Pete's gas station—"so Pete and I made a deal. I work on his customers’ cars during the day and he gets me the parts I need and lets me use his tools so I can fix up my baby. I offered to watch the pumps while I'm here so Pete can earn a few bucks with the overnight business."

  I'd known Pete my entire life. The gas station/garage was his pride and joy. He wouldn't have left it in the hands of just anyone, so he must've trusted Zander for some reason.

  An awkward silence fell between us and I found myself clutching my purse to my chest like some kind of shield.

  "Is there someone I can call for you?" Zander asked after a moment. "Not sure if a town like this even has Uber or Lyft?"

  "Has what?" I asked.

  "Never mind," he said with a chuckle. "You need decent reception first."

  I hated that my throat tightened up at his laugh. It wasn't like he was the first one to ever find amusement in the fact that I was very much lacking when it came to knowledge of the world outside of Eden. Most times, when the random tourists who came into the diner where I worked had a good laugh at my expense while they were trying to order some type of fancy coffee drink or they mentioned some kind of New Age diet they were following, I did my best to let the hurt just roll off my back. But something about Zander poking fun at me in the place I'd lived my entire life in, the place I was raising my son in, stung more than usual.

  "Come on, I'll give you a lift home."

  Zander's offer broke through the pain in my chest. "Oh no," I said with a shake of my head. "No, I can…"

  Can what? I asked myself.

  Call Jackson? Not only did he live on a ranch a good twenty minutes away, he’d go ballistic if he found out what Ted had done to me. While Jackson was normally a gentle, easygoing guy, he was still very protective of me and our son, and if he even suspected someone had raised a hand to me, he’d do what many of the men out here did… he'd take care of it with his fists. There was no way I wanted to risk him spending a night in jail for a mistake I'd made. That left calling my parents, who lived a few towns over.

  My blood ran cold at the prospect of telling my mother I'd taken shots at Ted. To my parents, the good-looking, wealthy Ted was the Holy Grail when it came to prospective husbands. They already thought I was going to hell for divorcing Jackson and they never failed to let me forget it. So there'd be no pity for what Ted had done to me. My only saving grace was that Zander had been the only witness to what had happened, so the likelihood of the story getting back to my parents was unlikely. I doubted Ted would go around admitting he’d been bested by a woman with a gun.

  "I can walk," I said firmly. Okay, yeah, I wasn't thrilled at the idea of walking three miles in the middle of the night, but something about the idea of being in the same car with Zander had me on edge.

  And not entirely in a bad way.

  "It's no problem," Zander said and then he was moving past me, giving me no chance to argue any further.
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  The fact was that I was tired, and I just wanted to get home so I could wash Ted's touch off of me and then cry in the privacy of my shower. And then maybe I’d cuddle up with my son in his bed.

  Three miles. That was all it was. What could possibly happen in three miles?

  As soon as I had the thought, I heard Zander say, "Hey, Joli." My stomach did a silly little flip-flop as he trotted back in my direction. Maybe he’d changed his mind about kissing me after all?

  "Yeah?" I asked, trying to keep the excitement out of my voice.

  Zander came to a stop in front of me. His eyes actually seemed to twinkle, and somehow that made me feel a little lighter.

  "Don't forget this," he said as he handed me something. "You never know when it might come in handy." He winked at me and I died a little on the spot. That little gesture had softened the harshness of his features. I'd never considered a man beautiful, but damn, Zander was just that.

  Beautiful.

  That thought lasted for all of two seconds. Then I looked down at what he was handing me and felt my entire face heat up. The plastic of the wrapped condom that had fallen out of my purse and that I’d completely forgotten about sounded loud in the silence between us. I'd had the thing in my purse for years, though I hadn’t been the one to put it there. I opened my mouth to explain, then shut it, then opened it again. Then the strangest thing happened to me…

  I began to laugh.

  And laugh.

  And laugh.

  I had no doubt I was coming off as a crazy person, but in that moment I didn't care. It was like some valve inside of me had been released and all the hurt and sorrow and loneliness I'd been feeling since my marriage had collapsed came out. Only, it came out in the form of laughter instead of tears. Who would've guessed that was even possible?

  I was still mid-laugh when I looked up at Zander to see if he was reconsidering his offer to give me a ride home. But when my eyes met his, I didn't see any judgment or concern. Instead, I saw some mysterious emotion that I couldn't put my finger on.

  I had no idea what was happening to me, or what he thought of any of it, but for the first time in a long time, that was okay. There would be plenty of time later for self-doubt and regret, but for now, I was going to do a very un-Jolene thing and just go with what I was feeling for once.

  Chapter 3

  Zander

  She fascinated me.

  It was that simple.

  And not.

  Admittedly, I’d expected only one of two possible reactions from her when I’d handed her the condom. Embarrassment or coyness. And yeah, she was embarrassed, but the fact that she was currently laughing so hard she was nearly in tears was proof that the embarrassment wasn't too profound. And I was beyond glad that she wasn't hitting on me. I'd had more than a few women come on to me even while their boyfriends or dates were in full view. And while I'd never necessarily been in this specific kind of situation before, I’d become somewhat of a skeptic when it came to women. I supposed that wasn't their fault, necessarily. I just had really high expectations.

  "Sorry," Jolene said as she put her hand to her mouth. She was clearly trying to get a hold of herself but failing miserably.

  "Don't be," I murmured. "It's nice to be surprised for a change," I added, knowing she wouldn't understand what I meant. Her laughter died down and that mysterious thing flared up between us again. Although if I was being honest with myself, it wasn't really all that mysterious. I was pretty sure what it was… I just hadn't felt it in a very long time.

  My body radiated with the need to step close to her again, but this time I managed to resist the urge and instead turned on my heel. "Stay here, I'll get the car." Even as I said the words, I knew they were coming out too harshly. But I wasn't in any mood to explain that I was angry with myself, not her. How would I explain that, anyway? And what would she think if she knew that it was taking every bit of my self-control not to reach for her a mere ten minutes after watching her being assaulted by the jackass that had gotten off far too easy?

  "Zander, if you're too busy—"

  "It's fine," I bit out, mostly because I didn't want her changing her mind. I would've liked to say that was because I didn't think it was safe for a woman to be walking alone this time of night, but that was just part of the reason. Although keeping my hands to myself would be an epic task, I wasn't ready to say goodbye to her just yet. While Eden wasn't a large town, it stood to reason that I wouldn't see her again. Especially if I stuck to my schedule and moved on within the next couple of weeks.

  As I hurried to my car and cleared off the tools I'd been using to work on it, I kept glancing over my shoulder to make sure Jolene hadn't left on her own. She was standing near the gas pumps with her arms wrapped around herself like she was cold. It wasn't a particularly chilly night, but the dress she was wearing was pretty light. It was a nice dress, but somehow it didn't fit her. Like it was too… much.

  Once I pulled the car out of the garage, Jolene began walking toward it. I wasn't sure why, but I liked that. I left the car running so I could close the garage. By the time I was returning to the car, Jolene was just a few steps away. I met her at the passenger side door. When she put her hand on the handle, I covered it with mine and said, "Wait up."

  I opened the door for the back seat and grabbed my leather jacket. When I went to settle it over Jolene's shoulders, she said, "It's okay, I'm fine."

  "These say different," I said as I trailed my finger over some goosebumps on her shoulder. I heard her draw in a breath and cursed myself for my stupidity. My cock went on high alert. I'd already sensed her attraction to me, but her silent confirmation of it was like permission for my wayward body to take what it wanted. I was standing just behind her, close enough that I could smell her perfume or shampoo or whatever it was that drifted off her skin and teased my senses.

  She didn't protest when I draped the jacket over her. My hands somehow ended up on her upper arms. The rumble of my car’s engine did nothing to drown out her little gasp when I gave her arms a gentle squeeze and stepped into her at the same time that I pulled her backward.

  What the hell am I doing?

  My body was on autopilot, completely ignoring all the warning bells going off in my head. I dropped my mouth to where her shoulder met her neck, but thankfully some kernel of sanity returned and instead of tasting her skin, I pulled in a deep breath so I could take in more of her sweet scent. She actually tipped her head to the side, exposing the long column of her throat to me. Her long hair fell off her shoulder and brushed my right hand. Between the silky strands and her thrumming pulse, I was quickly losing what little hold I had on that last shred of self-control.

  "Better?" I asked her softly as my lips ghosted along the shell of her ear. I couldn't even be sure whether the move was deliberate or not. All I needed from her was some sign and I'd give in to my body's demands.

  She didn't verbally answer me, but my eager dick declared victory when she leaned back against me so our bodies were perfectly aligned. She undoubtedly could feel my erection pressed against her backside. I found myself winding my fingers in her hair with the intention of holding her in place for my kiss when an explosion of sound hit us like a freight train.

  Jolene practically jumped out of my arms and fortunately, I managed to release my hold on her hair so I didn't end up snagging it in the process. I did, however, hold on to her hand as I quickly said, "It's okay, it was my car backfiring."

  Jolene looked between me and the car and I couldn't tell which horrified her more, what had nearly just happened between us or the sound of my car backfiring.

  "It's all right," I repeated as I rubbed my thumb back and forth over her fingers. "It's one of the things I'm working on," I said as I motioned between the car and the garage. "It's probably a bad plug or wire."

  She stared at me for the longest time and then pulled her hand free of mine. "Is it all right if we go now?" she finally asked. I didn't like how nervous she sounded.
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  "Yeah," I said with a nod and then I reached out to grab her door for her. She jumped back, clearly thinking my intent had been to reach for her. I felt sick to my stomach. Obviously, I had misread her response to me earlier. The idea that she was now lumping me in the same category as her dick-of-a-date made me want to hit something. Preferably him.

  We didn't speak again until I’d pulled out of the gas station lot and onto the road. And that was only long enough for her to tell me which direction to go. She sat stiffly in the seat next to me, my jacket looking big on her slim frame. I found myself missing the sound of her laughter. She had one of those all-in laughs, but my gut was telling me it wasn't something she indulged in too often.

  "I've had that condom there for years," she suddenly blurted out of the blue. I was so caught off guard by the fact that she'd spoken that I didn't process the words at first. I’d completely forgotten about the damn thing, but obviously she hadn't.

  "It's—" I began to say, but she cut me off.

  "After my divorce, my friend, Doreen, told me I always needed to be prepared because you never knew when you were going to meet a guy you wanted to… you know. I told her I couldn't imagine ever meeting some guy I just wanted to you know with… but she stuck it in my purse anyway and I forgot about it."

  She stopped talking as abruptly as she started, but when I opened my mouth to respond, she began rambling again. "Doreen moved to New Mexico last year, so I couldn't ask her for a ride tonight. And Jackson works at Broken Tree, so it would take him a while to get here and he'd want to know what happened and if I told him he'd go all crazy like you did and he’d probably kill Ted and end up in jail and I’d have to tell my little boy why his daddy wasn’t around to take him fishing anymore and so that's why I'm here with you, okay? It's not because I want to… you know… even if I kind of did want to… you know a few minutes ago."